Contests and Collaborations
by NotGuyFieri
Summary: Jaime finds out that the entire team ships Bluepulse and goes pretty much insane. Slash/Crack oneshot Rated T for Trolling.


_Recognized: Blue Beetle, B22_

Jaime walked into the Watchtower, the armor provided by his scarab quickly covering his body with the armor it provided. He could already tell it was going to a be a slow day; it was awfully quiet, and Beast Boy and Lagoon Boy were sitting across each other, which was surprising. Except they weren't playing video games, and Lagoon Boy definitely wasn't shouting at the top of his lungs and cursing under his breath. He was rather quiet, and muttered a few words to Gar, only to have Gar nod in response. Which meant they were at some sort of agreement or understanding, which was not normal. Blue quickly approached the two green heroes, and asked, "La'gaan, Gar, what's up?"

The two immediately looked up at Blue, and grabbed and closed a red notebook between them, and Beast Boy morphed into a lion, resting on top of the notebook.

"What was that?" Jaime asked, crossing his arms, his orange eyes glaring down at Beast Boy's green ones and La'gaans pure red ones.

"None of your business, _bug_." La'gaan hissed, and grabbed the two blue pens that were on the floor. He seemed to havemore of a frightened tone than an angry one.

Jaime rolled his eyes and turned his head, where he saw Tim and Cassie sitting at the counter, this time, with a piece of paper, a pencil, and a pen.

"Cass? Tim?" Jaime called from the distance. The couple looked back and Cassie crumpled up the paper and stuffed it up her shirt.

"What is up with everybody?!" Jaime threw his hands in the air, "Are you all like, making a plan to kill me or something?"

The room was silent.

"Fine, fine, be that way." Jaime grumbled, "I'm going to find Bart."

He slacked over, having Khaji Da scan for Bart's presence in the Watchtower. The scarab confirmed that he was in the kitchen, and Jaime walked towards there, only to see Bart closing the fridge with his foot, his arms full of all kinds of food. He spilled the contents all over the island, picking which item to eat first. He grabbed a whole watermelon, and began chomping away at it.

"Bart," Jaime began, and Bart's green eyes rested on Jaime in curiosity, "Do you know why everyone's acting so weird?"

Bart swallowed his piece of watermelon, then wiped off the pinkish juice that ran down his chin with his Kid Flash costume's sleeve. Jaime rolled his eyes, knowing that Joan would yell at him for staining his uniform.

"'Weird'? Like, how?" Bart asked.

"They have like, notebooks and pencils... and when I tried to approach them, they hid them." Jaime explained.

Bart shrugged, "Dunno. Wouldn't worry 'bout it too much." and he took another chomp of his melon.

"It's suspicious." Jaime commented, looking away.

Bart shrugged again. He didn't seem to care about it, not as nearly as much as Jaime.

Days would pass, and the same damn thing would happen. A feeling of irritation clawed at Jaime, the same sort of irritation he felt back in the third grade when a boy named Lucas would constantly poke him during class. Jaime would see his team with those pieces of paper, with some sort of writing on it, but hidden away as soon as they saw him. He decided that it was finally time to act. He rest on the couch, seeing all of them with one piece of paper, and four pens. Lagoon Boy, Beast Boy, Wonder Girl, and Robin, all writing away at that three-hole-punched paper at one of the tables. Jaime would wait; he would wait until they all had finally stopped writing, and see where the paper went.

 _This is a waste of time. The paper does not seem to pose any threat against you._

Jaime growled at Khaji in response, and peered over the couch, watching the four write, and narrowed his eyes, as if he were a cat stalking prey.

"It's getting late and we should all get going." Robin said, looking at a watch installed in his glove, "Beast Boy, you live here, take it for the night."

"'Course." Beast Boy nodded, grabbing the piece of paper with a hand then having his tail wrap around it, holding it in a firm grip.

Jaime lay back down on the couch, pretending to be asleep, and he heard the Zeta confirming the exits of his teammates.

 _Recognized: Robin, B20_

 _Recognized: Wonder Girl, B21_

 _Recognized: Lagoon Boy, B18_

Jaime sat up, and watched Beast Boy casually bound back to his room. Jaime just had to know what was on that paper. He slowly followed Beast Boy, and Beast Boy entered his room, the door automatically shut behind him. Jaime hesitated for a few moments, then ran towards the door, and knocked.

"Who is it?" Garfield asked from the inside.

"Blue. Megan wants to see you." Jaime replied.

The doors opened, and Garfield bounded out of the room, and the doors quickly shut behind him. He turned into a hawk, and flew away.

Just as Gar left, using his scarab, Jaime opened the door, and there he found it. The paper, on Gar's bed. There were several more lying next to it. Jaime picked up the paper, and began reading.

 **Under The Moonlight**

 **(a fan fiction written by Garfield Logan, La'gaan, Cassandra Sandsmark, and Timothy Drake)**

Fan fiction? What?

Jaime continued to read.

 **It was a long day after a mission, and Blue Beetle felt unsettled.**

"Wait, whoa, what the fuck? Why am _I_ in here?" Jaime asked himself, but continued to read.

 **Neither him nor his scarab could pinpoint the problem. And it itched at him. He tried to free his mind of the internal problem. Activating his jet pack, the teen took off into the dark, clear, sky of El Paso, the moon and stars reflecting off his armor as he soared. He didn't know where he was going, how fast he was going, and frankly, he didn't care. He enjoyed the feeling of wind as he dashed across the sky on his body. His mind began to slip away at the thought of where he was going, and almost blank. The nothingness comforted him in a strange way.**

 **He got the sudden urge to stop, not knowing why. He hovered high above the ground, looking down. He was above tall skyscrapers, the light spilling through their windows polluting the night sky. He didn't need his scarab to confirm it; he was in Central City. It was almost as if his subconscious told him to come here. He smiled with satisfaction as he saw two streaks soar across the roads and between the buildings, knowing that the two were the Flash and Kid Flash, otherwise known as Barry and Bart Allen. Perhaps, he thought, he could talk to Bart once he returned home to Jay and Joan, to try to pinpoint his problem. He nodded to himself, and flew towards the Garricks' house, his armor pulling back once he landed in the yard. He knew that by now the elderly couple was probably asleep, so he sat himself on a wicker chair on the porch, waiting for Bart's return, watching cars pass by as a source of entertainment as he awaited. It didn't take long to recognize that yellow and red streak dashing up to the front porch. Kid Flash came to a sudden stop.**

 **"Jaime?" he asked, pushing back his cowl.**

 **"Hey, hermano." Jaime replied, giving a small wave, "Dude, your secret I.D. Go inside and change, I'll be out here."**

 **Bart raised an eyebrow, but within a few seconds, was back on the porch, in civilian clothing, "Something wrong?" he asked, taking the seat next to Jaime.**

 **Jaime was silent for a few seconds, then said, "Yeah."**

 **"Well, wanna talk about it?"**

 **"That's the thing. I don't know what's wrong." Jaime said looking at the moon in the sky, the light of it reflecting across his brown eyes.**

 **"Well," Bart said, scooting his chair closer to Jaime, "We can always do something to get your mind off of it. Video games? Chicken Whizees?" Bart suggested.**

 **"It's the Reach thing," Jaime finally said, "the whole 'it's all my fault' thing is still bothering me."**

 **Bart tilted his head, "Hermano, that's _over_ now. We won."**

 **"I know." Jaime confirmed, "But because of me, you had to live that terrible life of slavery for thirteen years."**

 **"And now I don't." Bart countered and grabbed Jaime's hand, "And you never picked up that scarab in the first place, I would've never met you."**

 **"I don't like where this is going." Jaime said uncomfortably, a blush starting to form in his face.**

 **It seemed to click like that, and slowly, both of them moved their heads towards each other-**

" _We'redonereadingthis_!" Jaime quickly exclaimed and dropped the paper onto the bed, shaking his hand as if he just caught a disease, his face as red as the Flash's costume.

Well, the fan fiction explained whole hide-papers-from-Jaime a ton.

Jaime winced as he saw more papers, wondering if those were also fan fictions. Cautiously, he grabbed the next one he saw.

The title read "Bluepulse (Blueflash?) thingy"

Bluepulse... are you fucking kidding me right now?, Jaime thought to himself, and quickly scanned over the paper. Dios mio. This one was graphic. Wait no, scratch that, extremely graphic. Who could write something like this?! Jaime stood frozen in horror, his face redder than the Flash's costume now.

"Hey hermano, been looking for you- watcha readin'?" Bart asked as he sped into Gar's room and over to Jaime, peering over his shoulder to look at the paper.

" _Bart!_ " Jaime exclaimed, turning around quickly, holding the paper behind his back, making a fake smile.

"Come on dude. Pass it over. I'm curious." Bart said, folding his arms.

Jaime stuttered, " _N-no!_ I _mean_ , I swear, I just found it and-"

Too late. Bart already snatched the paper. Jaime sweat nervously as Bart quickly darted his eyes across the paper.

"Oh, this." he said casually.

"What?"

"The fan fiction. Yeah. What about it?" Bart shrugged.

Jaime attempted to say some words, but they all stumbled out of his mouth, unable to make sense.

"Dude. Calm down." Bart said slowly.

"How are you _totally okay_ with this?!" Jaime exclaimed.

"Well, I _wrote_ it. Doy." Bart shrugged again.

"Y-you _wrote it_?!" Jaime exclaimed, feeling more uneasy, " _Bart_!"

"So?" Bart asked.

" _Why- I never knew you- what?_!" Jaime gasped for air.

"Okay, okay. So one day, I saw Lagoon Boy, Beast Boy, and Robin writing. Apparently, they were having a contest on who could write the best fan fiction of us, with Cassie as the judge. The prize was an _entire_ pizza. Note that it also was a supreme pizza. So I joined." Bart explained, "Oh, and by the way, I won."

"You just joined in- what the fuck? For a _pizza_?" Jaime exclaimed.

"Yeah." Bart said, "I think they're having another competition next week, Robin's the judge this time, you're more than welcome to comp-"

"No!" Jaime exclaimed.

"Cass described us as 'extremely shippable'." Bart said, "So I was like, okay, sure, why not join in on the fun. Ships called Bluepulse by the way. But since I'm Kid Flash now, I guess it's Blue _flash_."

"So you're saying..." Jaime began, "Cassie, Gar, Tim, and La'gaan ship us? Just-"

"No. The entire team does. They're just the ones who write the fan fictions. And me, of course." Bart explained as if he were a teacher.

"I don't believe you." Jaime folded his arms.

"Ask anybody. Ask Batgirl. Ask Aqualad for all I care." Bart rolled his eyes, "Honestly, dude, you're the only one who doesn't ship it."

"So you ship it? Hermano, do you even hear yourself?!" Jaime threw his hands in the air.

"Don't call me hermano. Everyone will think you have some sort of gay-incest fetish." Bart said, picking at a nail.

"Bart, I _swear_ -" Jaime stammered and flustered, "You're creeping me out. I _can't_ be friends with you if you keep shit like this up."

Bart smiled, "Don't wanna be friends anymore? Crash. Let's just go to your house then. Imagine having grandpa or Jay walking in and-"

"Ese, _are you fucking with me_?" Jaime snarled.

"Do you _want_ to?" Bart asked.

"Dios mio- _Bart_!" Jaime hissed again.

"Don't scream like that; we haven't even taken off our clothes." Bart lectured.

"I-I'm leaving!" Jaime finally exclaimed, and was about to leave the room when he saw Garfield and Megan standing in the doorway.

"How long have you been standing here?" Jaime asked.

"M'gaan never asked for me. You _lied_ , didn't you? You wanted to find out _so bad_ -" Garfield said in a teasing voice, but Jaime cut him off,

"Answer my question!"

"About the same time you started yelling at Bart." Megan said, holding something behind her back.

Jaime narrowed his eyes, "With all respect, Miss Martian, if that's a _notebook_ -"

"Should we run?" Gar turned to Megan. Megan nodded and they took off.

Jaime didn't even try to bother chasing after them.

"Goodbye!" he shouted, letting the words echo on the walls. The Zeta recognized him, and Jaime went back to El Paso.

 ** _Two days later_**

Jaime's phone obnoxiously rang, and saw that the person calling him was Nightwing. Quickly, he picked up.

"Blue!" Nightwing said from the other line, "There's an emergency in the Watchtower. We need you _ASAP_!"

"Si senor!" Jaime replied as the armor covered his body. He activated his jet pack and took off.

When Jaime arrived at the Watchtower, he saw no threat. In fact, everybody was relaxing on a couch or casually walking around. Jaime raised an eyebrow in confusion as his eyes met Dick's behind his domino mask, who was lying on a love seat.

"What's the emergency, ese?" he asked.

"Oh yeah." Dick said, sitting up, "We're all going to collaborate on one big Bluepulse fan fiction and we need ideas for dialogue."

Jaime growled, "You are _not_ serious right now."

"Yes I am. Now come on, we're going to put it on the wall so everybody can see it." Nightwing said, approaching the Hispanic teen.

"Even the Justice League?!" Jaime exclaimed.

"Yup." Dick replied confidently.

" _No!_ I don't want _anything_ to do with this!" Jaime said sternly, turning back towards the Zeta, "Call me when you have a _real_ emergency!"

"But I _love_ you!" Bart called from the distance.

" _Fuck you_!"

"Later, right now we need dialogue!"

The entire team laughed in response.

"Why do I even bother?" Jaime rest his forehead on his hand.

 _Recognized: Bart's Bae, B22_

Jaime stepped out of the Zeta, now in El Paso. It took him a few seconds to register it.

"Did the Zeta just call me Bart's Bae?"

 _Affirmative. Somebody changed your name in the system before you left._

Jaime rolled his eyes,

"Gotta love this damn Team."


End file.
